On Gays in Moscow

Functional alcoholics, militarists, and some sexual misfits blend in in Moscow in a way they never could in their homecountries. Because they can't detect them, Russians grant Western gays a level of acceptance they would never give to their own, whom they sniff out quickly. A Canadian who I didn't want to move into my spare room because he wanted to use it as a platform for bisexual orgies had a harder time, he said, because Moscow's gay community rejects interlopers tinged with majority drives.

A wedding cake in early onset middle age, Charlemagne belonged to the luckier, invisible majority minority. I roomed with him for two weeks after being thrown out out of another apartment.

Interested Rescue

My cell starts ringing.

“Hello?”

“Who’s this?”

“It’s Charlemagne.”

“Hi, Charlemagne. What do you need?”

“Hey, Tim, how are you?”

“I’m OK. What do you need?”

“You KNOW, I heard you are looking for a place to stay for a few weeks, and I remember you washed Brandon’s underclothes [Brandon, a naive new arrival in Moscow, had been told by his landlord that his flat had a washing machine, which was untrue; as a favor I washed his clothes- all of them, not just the drawers], I thought you were really helpful and I want to help you. Like, I have an extra room.”

“How much? Where?”

“The total rent is 20,000 rubles. I want half of half. 5000. It’ll be temporary, we have to keep it secret from the landlady, so you’ll have to come home after me because she only gave me one set of keys.”

“Where?”

“It has European-style interior decoration.”

“OK. Where is it?”

“You take a little mini-bus ride after metro Vyhino.” Vyhino is the last station in the very southeast of Moscow. His flat must be behind the MKAD. (The MKAD is the "border between Moscow and Russia", in the form of a giant ringroad- if it's behind the MKAD, it is far from the center where everyone works.) 

“How long is the ride?”

“About 20 minutes. Look, you know I am trying to help. You can stop by and we can drink some cocktails and you can see the place.”

“When?”

“This Sunday.”

I don’t have much choice- there is a serious shortage of apartments in the city, so I will take what I can get till I can get what I need.

“OK. Send me the address and I’ll take a look.”